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Woman shares her journey to motherhood through adoption

For those families formed through biological means, it may be difficult to understand the challenges that other families may face. Though adoption is one of the most fulfilling means of forming a family, it is not without its trials -- as many California families have discovered. One mother recently shared her journey to genuine motherhood once they brought their daughter home.

This particular family's adoption story began when the child was a 3-year-old. The parents met her and began the formal adoption process, which took approximately 10 months. During that time, the family visited the girl and used a video chatting app to help begin the bonding process. The girl, who was described as being well-behaved and adjusted, was unsure of the meaning of adoption. Therefore, she always referred to the woman by her first name.

After the adoption was officially completed, the child would alternate between using the woman's first name and prefacing her name with the word 'mother.' The woman reported the struggles she experienced when she realized that she had to work at truly loving and feeling bonded with her new daughter. She attributed the difficulty of bonding with her child to the fact that they did not start out in infancy.

Over the course of several months, the girl used the terms mother and mommy much more frequently. The day finally arrived when the daughter announced that the woman was now her mother, and she has referred to her as such ever since. The mother shared that she realized she had to prove to the child  -- over time -- that they were truly a family and that the investment of time and love was worth the effort. California families considering adoption can obtain further information about the process from an experienced attorney.

Source:, "Mama Bear Moxie: Becoming 'Mommy' after adoption", Kristina Phelan, Feb. 18, 2018

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